Bill Kerman

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Bill Kerman
Bill in one of his calmer moments before things inevitably go wrong.
Bill in one of his calmer moments before things inevitably go wrong.
Occupation Kerbonaut
Specialisation Engineer
KSC ID# 0002
Courage
Stupidity
Badass No

Bill Kerman is kerbonaut #0002[1] and the least intelligent of the “original three”.

Background

Personality

Bill has as much Courage as Jebediah but, unlike him, does not have the "badass" trait. He also has relatively high Stupidity, As shown when in training, he gets smacked by the flag and is K.O.ed as a result.[1] His facial expressions and behavior suggest he often finds flight situations worrisome but he will also appear happy is situations like orbiting Kerbin or on the surface of Minmus.

His Steam Trading Card says he "always knows when something's gone wrong" which could suggest pessimism, though in KSP things often do go wrong.

Reputation

Some fans interpret Bill as intensely reluctant to fly. Others depict him as an intrepid explorer[2] or as eager, sentimental, if unlucky[3]. Like all members of the original three, Bill's position near the top of the list of kerbonauts means players will be far more likely to have him on missions that any of the random kerbonauts, but still less than Jebediah.

Gallery

References

  1. 1.0 1.1 Selection Process” official KSP video by Squad, hosted on YouTube
  2. "Bill Kerman Is a Pretty Cool Guy" - Unofficial fan-made video by YouTuber 'MillBeeful'
  3. "The Story of Bill Kerman - Act 1" - Unofficial fan-made video by YouTuber 'EventHorizon5'

Fiction

This section is humorous fan fiction. All its information is entirely unofficial and should not be taken at face value. Linking to a subsection is not recommended as this will skip over this warning.

Bill always appears scared when in flight and acts as if he is possibly the worst kerbal for the job. He is always afraid during flight, possibly because he suffers from multiple conditions that include, but are not limited to:

  • Vertigo
  • Home sickness
  • Travel sickness
  • Motion sickness
  • Sopite syndrome
  • Fear of high speeds
  • Fear of suffocation
  • Severe claustrophobia

Kerbonaut is the 3rd worst career path Bill could imagine, the worst being roller coaster tester & 2nd worst being professional freefaller. The only reason that Bill enrolled in the kerbonaut training program is that his mother pressures encourages him to become a kerbonaut, thus showing that their family is honourable as a career in space travel is the most honourable career to kerbals, and kerbonaut at the top of that. Incidentally, mountain dew bottling is the second most honourable job to kerbals, and is what Bill always wanted to do.

History

  • 1964: Bill Kerman Born?
  • 1980: Bill Kerman joins Insular inc. as an unpaid intern
  • 1981: Bill Kerman promoted to Janitor, cleans burn marks off launch pad
  • 1982: Bill Kerman accidentally cleans the lauch pad as a rocket takes off, Insular promotes him into mission control to avoid law suits & anger from his mother
  • 1984: Bill Kerman promoted to kerbonaut at Insular inc. as he has a sixth sense for detecting how fast he's going to pinpoint accuracy, company saves dozens of Kurrency in speedometers
  • (early)1989: Insular airfield Recco space station exploded in orbit, Bill only one to escape, ranting about a kraken...
  • (mid-)1989: Bill forced into retirement from Insular inc due to 'post-explosion & went kraken crazy-stress'
  • (late)1989: Bill hears Insular inc. shut down; knowing no kerbal will ever be harmed there again, he begins slow recovery
  • 2009: Bill Kerman enters KSC rocket science university
  • 2010: Bill kerman graduates KSC rocket science university early due to past experience
  • 2010: Bill Kerman enters KSC training program
  • 2012: Bill Kerman becomes KSC kerbonaut